I Don't Know How to do Anything Else

At the time, it felt true.

I was a senior in high school and it was time to start thinking about college. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. All I really knew was that I could create. I was artistic and i was really, really good at it.

So when I was asked if I was going to pursue art in college, the only answer that came to mind was, "Well, I don't know how to do anything else."

Now, fast forward to after I received my Graphic Design degree and through the fifteen years as a designer to now.

Custom artwork is trending and thanks to social media, artists are starving no more. In fact, they're kinda thriving.

And I needed a change. I was burning out quickly on design. The spark wasn't there anymore. I had one design client (who is still a client and will forever be my client) that kept me from burning completely down because she tapped into my creative mind with her projects. I needed more, though.

I needed to create for myself again. I needed an outlet for all the inspiration I was collecting.

But I was nervous.

If this didn't work or if I burnt out on this, I was out of ideas. THIS - creating - is my true talent. I can't do anything else as well as I do this. If this didn't find a way to succeed, I would be done. If no one took me seriously, I was screwed. And it would be completely on me.

I get it. It sounds dramatic. But I was terrified that if I followed my true talent - my true dream to be an artist - and it failed or I burned out quick, I was done. I didn't have anything else I felt I brought to the table as strongly or as confidently as I did my artistic talents.

It took a lot of freaking out, some pep talks from friends, and bourbon for me to realize that those are the exact reasons this wouldn't fail. If I took it seriously, there was no reason everyone else wouldn't take me seriously. This is where my zone of genius as always been.

This is the path I should have always taken. A creator.

An artist.